I know it sounds pretentious, but I can’t help but feel that the Mistress of Fate has always had her eyes set upon me. Perhaps it is just then lingering angst of a teenager who had to grow up too fast, but it is just that the sensation of something unseen has always been lingering around me.
Whether it is actually something intangible guiding my life, or just my own misguided belief that I am meant to do more with my life, it seems that no matter how bad it has gotten, something always steps in and helps to avert near and possibly sudden disaster.
I can think of a few examples right off the top of my head, but the one that sticks out the most in my mind comes from when I was about sixteen. My best friend and I were goofing around playing dodgeball in his yard and his sister was playing fetch with their dog on the other side of the yard. As per the positioning of us to her, she was actually off to my right and slightly behind me by about twenty yards. She was entirely out of my peripheral vision, yet when one arrant throw closed the distance between us, I found myself turning just in time to place the ball between my head and the broken branch that surely would have caused some lasting damage. Natural instinct? Practiced intuition? I’ve never really been sure, but my fantasy based mind always rebuilds the situation with the added (or possibly forgotten) detail of the wind stirring up, bringing a whisper of warning to my mind, just in time to protect myself.
There are other stories, though not nearly as exemplary. Most of the ones of recent past, have involved unexpected money just in the time to pay off a bill before eviction or before my electricity is shut off. I must admit that at these particular times, the sensation has felt more like something just stringing me along as opposed to something actually trying to help me. However, when I try to view these things in a positive light, I imagine that this is the way that destiny tries to help me out, without causing me to lose sight of the reason why I strive to be a writer.
Yes, it was bound to come around 360 degrees back to writing. This is a writers blog after all. But, yes at times, I feel as though destiny is trying to keep me going on my writing. And whenever I think about the concept, or even just think about my the story behind my trilogy, I feel a shiver run the course that is my body. The only other times I have felt this sensation in such intensity, is when I think back upon my wedding day where I bound myself to my wife and the days when my children were born. I have since associated this sensation with the idea of a gentle urging that something either must be in my life, or that I have brought something worth value into my life or world.
This is the reason I write. I hope to make this sensation of destiny pass on to others. Much like a benevolent plague, I would hope that any of my future readers might be privy to this sensation, and that in some small way, my writing might change at least one persons life, in even the smallest way.
So, with the conclusion, I place before you a question. What drives you in whatever your aspire to in life? Then think about every instance in your life that you can, and remember, whether you have ever felt something akin to my own experiences. Lemme know what you think.